Lullaby for a Soldier
by iheartgeekz
Summary: Ed questions orders from Mustang forbidding him from working with another State Alchemist. Why is he so adamant? What does this have to do with Roy and Riza's time serving in the Ishvalan Civil War? The Flame Alchemist will stop at nothing to protect the people he loves. TW sexual assault mention in ch 2, 4, 7. Nothing explicit. Now complete with epilogue.
1. Chapter 1

Edward Elric brushed the last of the snow off his brother's armor. Fresh off the train from Central, the two boys had arrived at Eastern Command. "How come the snow doesn't just slide off?" Ed wondered aloud.

"I'm not sure. I think it's because it doesn't melt because I don't have any body heat." Alphonse used to be self-conscious about things like that but he'd grown to accept it as another inevitability until he got his body back. "At least I don't get cold either."

Ed smiled at his brother. He had a gift for optimism that never seemed to fade. For a fourteen-year-old, Alphonse had experienced more than enough trauma. Ed knew his brother missed things like being able to feel, taste, and smell. But rather than focus on the negative, he focused on the benefits, like not feeling winter's chill.

"We should go find Colonel Sarcasm," Ed sighed, "Let's tell him how we once again, didn't find a philosopher's stone, but managed to overhaul a local government."

"In all fairness brother, the mayor had just died of a heart attack, the government already was a mess." Al knew that was a stretch at best. While the mayor had died under natural circumstances, Ed had caused a stir between the two candidates for the upcoming election by exposing one candidate's economic success as violating a taboo of alchemy, creating gold.

"Yeah...right. You can tell him that!"

* * *

"Edward, just because you're from Resembool doesn't mean you were born in a barn, right?" Roy drawled, barely looking up from his paperwork, "If you were, my apologies. Otherwise, wipe your feet."

Ed rolled his eyes and wiped his feet on the entryway rug leading into Mustang's office. Yep, same old Colonel. Just as flippant and snarky as always. Al followed his lead even though he had already wiped his feet as he came into Eastern Command.

"Welcome back boys," First Lieutenant Hawkeye smiled, blowing on a hot cup of tea at her desk, "You must have just gotten in before they delayed the trains. This snowstorm has canceled all trains coming to or from the north." The Lieutenant was always the pragmatic one, keeping tabs on everyone, even when they didn't know it. She didn't show it often but she was a very caring woman.

Al nodded, "We heard them announcing the cancellations on the platform. But we have a place to stay! We met an alchemist on the train and we think he might have some research that could help us get our bodies back. He's a state alchemist too."

"Really?" Roy finally looked up from his papers, his fingers laced together, "What's the name?"

"John Bergmann, the Windsong Alchemist." Ed answered, "He told us he worked on biochemical alchemy."

Lieutenant Hawkeye's teacup shattered at her feet.

"You alright, Lieutenant?" Ed brought his hands together and transmuted the cup back into one piece, handing it to her carefully, "You're not usually clumsy."

"I'm fine, Edward," she answered curtly. Her gaze wouldn't rise to meet his. Her fingers struggled to wrap themselves around the newly repaired china, still hot to the touch from her drink, now staining the carpet.

"Havoc, Breda, Falman, Fuery," Mustang ordered, "Go get the Lieutenant a fresh cup of tea."

Havoc raised an eyebrow, "All of us sir?"

"Can you gentlemen manage that?"

"Yes, sir." they answered in unison, exchanging puzzled glances. They rose from their seats, not daring to question the colonel's order.

"Good. Lieutenant Hawkeye?" she snapped to attention, "Go wash up. Your uniform needs to look presentable."

She looked down. Not a drop of tea had landed on her uniform. Even her boots were mostly dry. The Lieutenant nodded, realizing what he was trying to really say, "Understood, sir."

Roy waited for his subordinates to leave before addressing the boys, "I forbid you from working with the Windsong Alchemist."

"What? We have a lead on how to fix our bodies, and you just cut us off like that?" Ed tried to keep his temper in check, minding his tone and his tongue. He was used to the expectation that he follow orders unconditionally. But this was the closest thing they had to a lead in months. He wasn't ready to back down with no explanation.

"John Bergmann is a war criminal, he committed atrocities in Ishval." Roy cracked his knuckles through his gloves, "I do not want you boys to have any further contact with him. Are we understood?"

"Yeah, like you didn't commit atrocities during that war, Colonel?" Ed snapped, unable to contain himself.

Al placed himself between his brother and the colonel, "Ed! That was uncalled for!"

"Big words for a man who used to burn people alive!"

"Get out of my sight, Elric!" Roy roared. Ed had never heard fury like that in the man's voice before. He'd heard him frustrated, annoyed, even angry before. But this was different. There was something else in his voice too Ed couldn't place. Fear? Guilt? He decided he didn't care to know.


	2. Chapter 2

Ed stormed off down the hall with is brother at his heels. He was seeing red and needed to cool off. He was used to being told no. He could handle rejection. But this time it hit hard. On his way down the hallway, a hand on his shoulder stopped him, "Edward? Where are you going?"

He turned to see Lieutenant Hawkeye, her eyes wide with concern. Ed really didn't feel like chatting and he shrugged off her hand as he continued down the hallway, "To our hotel. What we thought was a lead turns out to be completely useless, just like our colonel in the rain. He won't let us work with Bergmann to see if his research could help us fix our bodies." The brothers didn't miss her flinching slightly at the state alchemist's name.

Hawkeye froze, trying not to take Ed's dismissal personally, "I see."

"Are you okay Lieutenant?" Al asked, "You seemed upset earlier."

She smiled, appreciating the boy's concern. She hadn't hidden her emotions well, and her clumsiness was uncharacteristic of her. She walked alongside the two boys as they marched toward the exit. "I will be okay. I want you boys to understand something. Sometimes, when the colonel gives you orders, he gives them for a reason, even if you don't understand it at the time."

"Like hell," Ed muttered, "He just has an ego and likes to use it."

"That isn't fair," she countered, halting her steps, "I take it you did not agree with his reason for his orders."

"He said Bergmann is a war criminal," Al said, "And brother called Colonel Mustang a war criminal too."

She turned to Ed in shock, "You said what?!"

"Don't act all high and mighty, I know you guys did what you had to do for your country and all but Mustang burned people alive in that war. You told us yourself once Lieutenant, if this country ever became a democracy again, the two of you would be tried as war criminals, you wouldn't be heroes." Ed regretted his words upon looking into the older woman's eyes. He saw hurt and shame there looking back at him, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that you and Mustang are trying to do what you can for this country even after what you did. Why is it so hard to believe that someone else who did some messed up things during the war could do some good too?"

"Some good like helping us fix our mistakes?" Al offered.

Hawkeye nodded slowly, briefly closing her eyes. She began to walk down the stairs and out toward the courtyard, "I understand your rationality," she began, "But I do believe there are varying degrees of wrongs in this world. He committed the same sins as any other soldier in that war ordered to kill enemy combatants and civilians. But I am pretty certain that was not what the Colonel was talking about."

Ed and Al followed behind her a few steps, giving her some space. Al smacked his brother on his one good arm, "How could you say things like that to her?" he hissed.

The Lieutenant held the door open to the central courtyard of Eastern Command. On a nicer day this place would have been filled with soldiers on break, eating lunch, gossiping, or Jean Havoc taking a smoke break. In mid-February however, it was abandoned save for an MP stationed by each entrance. The snow had stopped, but a blanket of several inches coated everything in a fluffy, undisturbed coat. Even the fountain in the center had frozen solid. The lack of footsteps in the snow told Hawkeye that they would likely have some privacy here. She walked toward the middle of the courtyard, the two brothers in tow. She cleared off some snow on the bench by the fountain, drew her jacket tightly around herself, and sat down. Ed and Al joined her on either side.

"How old are you boys now?" she asked.

"Uh, I'm 14 and brother is 15," Al supplied, confused by her question.

"Sometimes I forget how young the two of you are. You have already experienced so much in your short lives." she sighed, "You don't have much innocence left I suppose."

Ed nodded in agreement.

"If I tell you boys something, I want you to understand a few things. First, that you can never go back to your lives before you knew what I am about to tell you. Second, that I do not want you to tell anyone else that you know this, especially the Colonel."

The boys exchanged a nervous glance. What could she be talking about?

"I...I don't know what you mean. What kind of thing are you going to tell us?" Ed stuttered, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Something happened during the war, something that Bergmann did. That he did to me." her voice wavered a little. She kept her hands folded in her lap, wringing them nervously.

"Lieutenant, we don't need to know," Al told her, "Colonel Mustang told us to leave it alone. And we should do just that. Right brother?"

Ed hesitated for a moment, "You can tell us anything or nothing. Whatever Bergmann did to you, it must have been pretty bad for Mustang to react like that."

* * *

" _As you know, new protocol dictates that night patrol consist of one state alchemist and one other soldier as backup for the time being until this current wave of uprising settles down. We've been losing too many soldiers to ambush in the night. Hawkeye, Bergmann, you're on night patrol for Delta Camp tonight, 2100 to dawn." Brigadier General Raven read the orders to the crowd of soldiers gathered for dinner. "You are all dismissed. Night patrol report 15 minutes before your shift to relieve day patrol."_

 _The two soldiers nodded, accepting their assignment with a salute. Night patrol had its perks. Being on active duty after the desert sun was below the horizon made shifts more bearable. However sleeping during the heat of the day did not come easily._

" _So, how's the Hawk's night vision?" Roy Mustang asked, "If our snipers can shoot in the dark, this war will be over before you know it." He always tried to keep her spirits up. Even though he was quartered with the state alchemists, keeping the two separated most of the time, he tried to share meal times with her. The war hadn't been easy on any of them, but he feared the change he saw in her eyes._

" _Ha! If I see any of those insurgents, she won't have time to line up a shot before the sand swallows them up." Bergmann bragged, placing bowls of stew on his comrades' trays. He was a large man, blonde, tall and built like a bear. He towered a head over Roy and two over Hawkeye._

 _Roy chuckled, "If you say so. As long as our lives don't depend on your aim, John. If I recall at the academy you had to take firearms certification twice because your accuracy was so bad."_

" _Shut up," Bergmann elbowed him, knocking him out of his place in the meal line with little effort, "Your marks weren't much better. That's why they just let you play with matches."_

* * *

"He was one of the Colonel's closest friends at one time," she explained, "He went through the academy with him and Maes Hughes, they graduated from the same class and were shipped off together. The two of them were even selected as state alchemists the same year." She tried to smile, thinking back to a more pleasant time.

"Whatever happened must have been a lot for the Colonel to never forgive," Ed pondered, "He used to get upset with Hughes a lot for teasing him about getting a wife, and calling him all the time."

Al nodded in agreement, "Did you know him pretty well, Lieutenant?"

"Not really, I just knew him as a friend of a friend, until that night we were placed on night watch together we never said much to each other."

"Whatever happened," Ed began, "It happened that night didn't it?" he placed his hand on top of hers, griping it gently.

"Do you know what rape is?"she whispered.

Ed froze, he felt his increasing heart rate pounding in his ears. _No. No, no, no, no, please. Let it not be true. Please tell me it isn't true._

* * *

" _Don't you touch me!" she screamed, kicking at her assailant. From her position up on the rooftop, she knew the sleeping soldiers below probably couldn't hear her screams._

" _I don't want to fight you." Bergmann told her, his voice was soft, trying to sooth, but his words were venom in her ears as he pulled at her clothing. He tossed her rifle down to the street below. "You're not going to shoot me now, are you?"_

" _Stop, please!" she shrieked, louder, more desperate this time. She was a strong woman but she knew she was not stronger than the man towering over her._

* * *

"What, what does that mean?" Al asked hesitantly.

"It's when you force someone to have sex with you." Ed supplied, shaking with rage. He fought not to tighten his grip on Hawkeye's hand too hard and risk hurting her.

"What? Why would someone do that!" Al struggled to keep his voice down, not wanting to alert the MPs to their conversation. "Teacher taught us that sex is how life comes into the world, that it's the ultimate act of love, that it creates something that no alchemist has ever done before. How can you force that to happen?"

Hawkeye's breathing had sped up, her eyes were shut tightly. Despite the chilling air, she had broken out into a sweat, gleaming on her pale skin which seemed to grow whiter by the minute. Ed's free hand rubbed circles on her back gently, "Hey, you don't have to say anymore. I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. I trust you. And your brother. If I didn't I never would have told you." She looked up, trying to focus on something in the distance. She blinked back tears, refusing to let any more fall over this, over what he did.

"Lieutenant, I think we should go back inside," Al offered, "It looks like it's going to snow again soon, you should get inside where it's warm." He could tell that she was emotionally exhausted from the retelling of her ordeal.

She nodded, shakily rising to her feet in the soft snow. She looked again for a point in the distance, she chose the roof of the adjacent building, where a flag waved in the breeze. Next to it, a gleam caught her eye. A gleam she recognized. A sniper's scope.

* * *

AN: I toned it down a little to try to keep it T rated, please let me know if you think it should be bumped to an M and I will change it. It's been a long time since I've written anything, please let me know if you have any feedback, good or bad! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you for all the feedback! I will continue to update the description with TW chapters when applicable. Descriptions will be kept minimal.

* * *

She recognized the sight immediately, the reflection off a rifle scope. Her demeanor changed instantly. She had precious little time to get herself and the Elric brothers to safety. She told the boys, "Listen to me very carefully. I need you to get to the other side of the fountain and crouch down, quickly, keep low." she drew he sidearm and followed the boys to the other side of the concrete fountain.

Concerned, the MPs by the courtyard doors began to approach. Hawkeye held up her hand, halting their advance. She signaled to them, directing their attention to the rooftop. They couldn't see the aspiring assassin, but they understood her meaning. "We'll send men over to the roof on C building to cut him off," one shouted, "Hold your position and maintain cover!"

"Roger!" Hawkeye kept the boys low to the ground in the snow. As she peered up she could see that the sniper was still in position. "There's a sniper on the rooftop, and we are unsure of his target. He could be after me, he could be after you boys, he might not be so discerning. Do not move until you are cleared to get up, do you understand?"

Ed nodded, keeping his head covered, "How did you see him up there?"

"He took the cover off his scope, it's a rookie mistake," she explained, "You never uncover your scope until you're lining up the final shot to fire, it gives away your position." Years of experience taught her that stealth was a sniper's best friend. You had to kill your opponent before they ever saw you coming or you could lose your window, or worse, be killed yourself. During critical missions she would often forgo the scope, relying only on the rifle's built in sights. Her reputation for having the eyes of a hawk had both saved and ended countless lives.

"What do we do?" Al asked, trying to keep his large body tucked down in hiding, "Just wait?"

"For now," she responded, trying to line up a shot with her sidearm over the edge of the fountain, "MPs are sending men up to the roof to intercept him. Wait for the all clear before getting up. No matter what happens. If one of us is hit, the rest of us need to stay down. You can't help anyone if you're killed. Do not run for help, do not get up, stay and help the wounded." She hated telling them this. They weren't soldiers. Even though Ed was technically a dog of the military he was too young to be asked to serve. She just needed them to survive.

"Any chance he's military and is supposed to be up there, like for security or something?" Ed asked.

A shot rang out, breaking a chunk of concrete off the edge of the fountain. Water would have normally flowed freely from the opening, but the ice remained in its place, cracked with a hole bored through marking the bullet's path.

"I'd say not likely," Hawkeye sighed, firing off a shot in return. Her odds of hitting anything were not good, firing upward at their assailant with a .38, but she hoped it would catch the sniper off guard, buying them a little time. "Whatever happens, stay down!" Her hand clutched her left side, finding warmth spreading. _Whatever happens, you boys will be ok._

"Lieutenant, I'm sorry about what I said! I know you and Colonel Bas- Mustang aren't monsters." Ed cried, transmuting the fountain into a single solid slab of concrete, raising the walls of it high to provide more cover, "That's more coverage but it's thinner. We can't stay here forever."

A second and third shot rang out, moving progressively closer to the boys. Holes ripped through the slab but were quickly repaired by Ed's alchemy. Though the sniper was now working blind, unable to see behind the concrete wall, he wasn't deterred.

* * *

Mustang's men returned from the mess hall, each carrying a cup of tea, which was placed on Lieutenant Hawkeye's empty desk. No one dared question why they had been dismissed for such a trivial task, much less as a group. "Where did Hawkeye go off to?" Breda asked.

"She went to go wash up," Mustang replied, checking the time on his silver pocketwatch, "But she should have been back by now." He knew she had been shaken, but he had hoped she would have told him if she needed more time to recompose herself. She was also a very private person though and may not have wanted anyone to know how strongly the memories of that night had returned.

"Don't worry chief," Havoc assured him, "She'll be back. You've got a ton of work to do and she knows you won't do it yourself." He was only kidding a little. Roy was not a great self-motivator and Lieutenant Hawkeye was frequently the one keeping him in line. If this man ever hoped to make it to the top and become Fuhrer, he needed to get his act together.

"I think I saw her going downstairs with the Elric brothers when we were coming back from the mess hall," Fuery recalled.

"Dammit Edward, why can't you leave anything alone," Roy muttered under his breath, walking out the door to look for the trio. As he opened he door, a group of armed soldiers ran past him in a rush. "What is the meaning of all this?"

A soldier stopped in front of the colonel and snapped to attention, "Colonel Mustang, sir! We have reports of a sniper on the roof of building C, the courtyard is under fire!"

Roy bolted down the hallway, following in the footsteps of the soldiers. His men loyally followed close behind, concerned both for the situation and for their commanding officer. "Fuery, Breda, head to building C for backup. Havoc, Falman, you're with me."

"I think he stopped," Al said hopefully, a few minutes after the last shot had gone off. Perhaps reinforcements had apprehended their attacker? He stood to peer around the edge, but Hawkeye grabbed his armored arm.

"Do not get up until we are given the clear!" she ordered. She was stern, but the boys understood that the silence was no guarantee of safety.

"Lieutenant!" a voice called from across the courtyard.

Roy Mustang came running across the snowy grounds. Any anger he held earlier was long gone, replaced by concern and fear. He pulled his gloves on tightly, prepared to defend his subordinate and two brothers. Falman and Havoc followed behind, struggling to keep up. Roy was in better shape than he let on. Sitting at a desk all day, he wasn't at his peak like he had been during his days at the academy but he still possessed strength and stamina. He took no precautions for the slick snow beneath his feet, sliding in his boots as he charged forward.

"Colonel!" Al shouted, waving his arms, "Don't come any closer! We're still under fire!"

"No you're not, Fuery just radio'd that the suspect has been taken down." He knelt down beside them, "Are you all alright?"

Ed nodded, "Yeah, it was close though. I couldn't do much without risking someone getting hurt in that building." Havoc and Falman helped the two brothers up to their feet.

Hawkeye leaned back against the wall, her heart still racing, pounding in her ears with the ringing from the gunfire. They had survived. She closed her eyes tightly, trying not to think about how close their assailant had come to victory. "I'm okay, sir." He noticed her hand lingering on her left side, below her underarm. Roy's hand gently pulled hers away, "Really, it doesn't even hurt."

Ed went pale, "You, you're hurt? Why didn't you say anything?!"

"That's because of all the adrenaline, you're in shock," Roy turned Hawkeye's palm upward, his heart stopping when he saw blood. "Call for a medic!"


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Wow! Thanks to all of you who have read this so far, and a special thanks to everyone who is following this story. It's hard to believe that some of you enjoy this enough to want to know what happens next. Thank you all in advance! Possible TW this chapter. I wanted to use this as a medium to discuss some of the sexual abuse that happens to men and women in the military that often goes unacknowledged.

* * *

Roy carefully started to pull of layers of his lieutenant's clothing. Blood had started to soak into her outer jacked but her dark turtleneck underneath made it difficult to determine the extent of the damage. He turned his head toward his subordinates, "Look away!" he ordered, as he pulled out his knife and began to cut away the garment, "I need to check for an exit wound."

"Exit wound?" Ed asked, "Like going all the way through?"

"Yeah. High velocity rounds can make it through the other side sometimes," Havoc explained, turning around as ordered, "They tend to bleed pretty good, they're usually bigger than the entrance wound." He covered Ed's eyes with his hand as he kept trying to look back to see what was happening. "Hey! No peeking!"

Roy wasn't so much concerned for her modesty as he was worried about protecting the secrets her skin carried, secrets entrusted to him long ago. Though deep ugly scars marked the detailed array, he wouldn't bring himself to burn off most of it. He could still remember her screams that night while she begged him to continue until every trace of her father's burden left this world. He carefully inspected her body, relieved to find no second wound. The bullet had entered her side, between two ribs just beneath her left breast. It was a small miracle it had missed her heart. He held what remained of her shirt firmly against the wound, eliciting a sharp hiss from her.

Ed turned around, keeping his eyes tightly shut. He pulled off his crimson coat, holding it blindly in front of him, "Here, this will help keep her warm."

Roy quickly wrapped it around her shoulders, "Thank you." He pulled off his own jacked and laid it down in the pink tinged snow, "Lay down, Lieutenant." Falman and Havoc followed suit, forgoing any protection from the elements to comfort their fallen comrade.

"I'm ok," she insisted, wincing at the pressure on her chest. _When did he get so strong?_

Al crouched down beside her, "You really shouldn't talk, you should conserve your strength." He felt helpless. He had nothing to offer her to help but himself.

"Why are the medics taking so long?" Roy asked, trying to keep the worry out of his voice.

"Five minutes, Chief," Falman responded, getting confirmation on the radio, "They're taking her to Eastern Cross."

"What? Mercy is closer, why are they taking her 12 miles further out?" Roy demanded. An additional 12 miles in the snow could take an additional half hour easily if the roads were not cleared.

"Eastern has a better trauma team sir, dispatch made the call based on our report." Havoc didn't want to admit he had concerns about the plan too. But he also wanted Hawkeye to get the best chance possible at a full recovery. Taking her to a hospital only to have her transferred anyway would be a longer process with more risks involved in transport.

" _Alpha team come in, come in alpha team, medics are on site, I'm directing them your way now! Roger."_ Master Sergeant Fuery's voice crackling voice came through on the radio.

"Copy," Falman responded.

"Here are your orders men," Roy announced. "Falman, you meet up with Breda and Fuery. Do everything you can for the investigation then report back to us at the hospital. Havoc, you take Alphonse to the Lieutenant's apartment and get her a change of clothes for her to go home in. Alphonse, I can't give you orders, but would you be willing to take care of the Lieutenant's dog?"

"I can do that!" Al was a sucker for animals. He preferred cats but he couldn't be kept away from small animals. He felt excited to be able to do something. _Maybe I could even sneak Hayate in to see his master in the hospital?_

"Fullmetal?" Roy paused. He had initially planned to ride in the ambulance with Hawkeye to the hospital. He didn't want to leave her side for moment until he knew she was alright, but it didn't feel right to leave the young alchemist alone. He knew Ed would blame himself for what had happened, even though if Hawkeye was determined to protect him, nothing could stop her. "You ride with me to the hospital."

Ed nodded, swallowing hard. He didn't know what the Colonel had in store for him, if he was still furious with him for earlier. But he knew better than to argue.

"You still with us, Lieutenant?" Roy asked, his voice a little softer now, "Here they come." Medics had come onto the courtyard, pushing a gurney along through the snow.

Her eyes opened and shut slowly. She was pale but still bore a look of determination. She nodded, "Yes, sir. I'm still here."

"Good, you don't have my permission to die," he reminded her. "You're going to need surgery, but I'll be there when you come around." He didn't want this to be goodbye, even temporarily. Twelve miles of uncertainty were between them and the hospital. He stepped back, clearing some space for the medics. As he moved his hand off her side, he saw her blood had soaked into his gloves. He tore them off, trying to will himself to forget the sight.

* * *

Ed shifted uncomfortably in the passenger's seat. Before he could even fasten his seatbelt, Mustang sped off, tailing the ambulance as it pulled away from Eastern Command. The roads had been cleared for the most part, taking some of the chaos out of the equation. Although it was starting to get dark, winter's short day was coming to an end.

"Colonel I-"

"She told you, didn't she?" Roy asked, already knowing the answer.

Ed froze, his jaw having dropped a little, "She told me not to say anything about it, especially to you. But you've already figured it out haven't you? I guess she can shoot both of us."

Roy turned the heater on. He didn't miss that Ed was missing his coat, having given it to his Lieutenant. "I don't give you orders just to hear myself talk. Sometimes, they're to protect you. And sometimes…"

"They're to protect someone else," Ed finished, sighing deeply. "I had no idea. He seemed so normal. And she's so strong. My mind doesn't even want to believe what I heard." On the train ride to East City, Bergmann had told him about his time in the military. He had left active duty after the war, but continued research as a State Alchemist. He did seem to perk up at the mention that Ed was going to see Colonel Mustang though.

" _Mustang huh?" Bergmann stopped sipping his coffee and set it on the table in front of him. "That's a name I haven't heard in a long time. I certainly never expected to hear 'Colonel' in front of it."_

Ed thought back to early that morning, sitting across from the alchemist on the train. The man had a large scar across the left side of his face. When he had mentioned having served in the war, Ed had assumed it was an old war injury. But intuition told him otherwise. "Colonel? That scar on Bergmann's face. It looked like a burn. He didn't get that in the war did he?"

* * *

" _Hey, I'm not going to hurt you," Maes Hughes slipped off his white outer coat, wrapping it over the soldier's shaking shoulders, "They're going to take your uniform as evidence but you can wear this until we get you a new one back at camp." He sat down on the ground beside her, placing himself between her and the crowd of soldiers who gathered to see the commotion._

 _She nodded, flinching at the sensation of being touched before pulling the coat tightly over herself, "Thank you." Her voice was a soft whisper as she fought to keep any trace of fear hidden._

 _Roy fought against the two soldiers holding him back. He felt torn between his two instincts. The first was to go to Hawkeye's side to comfort her. The second, more powerful urge was to burn Bergmann. The soldier to his right shouted, "What's done is done. The higher ups will deal with him."_

 _But they wouldn't. He was a State Alchemist, a status which conferred rights and privileges above those given to ordinary soldiers or even officers. They were far too valuable of a resource for the war effort to punish, even for the most heinous war crimes. Two MPs led Bergmann away in handcuffs. By tonight those cuffs would be off and he would walk away with a slap on the wrist. The Windsong Alchemist would return to his post as if nothing ever happened. Roy shook with rage, feeling completely powerless. He had trusted Bergmann with is life. He, Bergmann and Hughes graduated from the academy as friends. He never imagined that he was capable of this._

 _The soldier to Roy's left loosened his grip a little, "You know they let state alchemists get away with almost anything, right?" he whispered._

 _Roy caught on almost immediately and his gloved left hand slipped away from the man restraining him. With a snap, golden flames lit up the predawn hours, finding their target between two guards. Bergmann dropped to his knees screaming. The left side of his face was raw, red and oozing. A private rushed forward with a canteen of water to pour over the fresh angry burn._

 _The two soldiers restraining the Flame Alchemist exchanged looks, "You were supposed to hold him back, Sergeant!"_

" _He slipped from my grip, Warrant Officer!"_

 _Hawkeye sat watching in shock next to Hughes on the sand, still cool from the long night. "Mustang, you idiot." she murmured._

" _He won't get in trouble," Hughes assured her, "Grumman won't allow it."_

* * *

"Two wrongs don't make a right, Fullmetal." Roy insisted, "I got away with what I did for the same reason he got away with hurting her. I abused my position as a state alchemist to get revenge. As satisfying as it was, it wasn't right."

"You got away with nearly burning a man's face off?" Ed asked incredulously. He couldn't imagine that the Colonel would have avoided all consequences for assaulting another officer.

Roy shook his head, "Technically no. I dug latrines for a month in the heat. But that was far less than the punishment that would ordinary be called for. But at the time, I didn't know that General Grumman was Lieutenant Hawkeye's grandfather."

"What?!" he asked incredulously.

"Keep that bit of knowledge to yourselves," Roy ordered, "She doesn't want anyone to know that."

"Why is that?" Ed asked, "I think most people really like General Grumman. He's not like you, pissing people off all the time, stealing their girlfriends."

Roy let those remarks slide, knowing that Ed was only trying to lighten the situation. The best way he knew how to do that was be a smartass. "She got where she's at on her own. She didn't even know she had a famous grandfather until after the war. He said she wasn't the type to ride coattails, he wanted to let her fly with her own wings."

As they approached the hospital, Roy broke the silence. "Numbers show that a third of the women who go into the military experience the kind of horror she did. Most at the hands of other members of the military." He gripped the steering wheel tightly, "About ten percent of men do, too. I want you to be careful out there, Fullmetal."

"That many?" Ed couldn't believe it. He had always thought the most dangerous part of being a soldier was being deployed to a war zone. "How? How is that possible?" _How many people do Al and I know in the military? Dozens? Hundreds? How many men? How many women? No! Stop, don't think about it. They're not statistics, they're human beings, dammit._

"Most of the numbers are low figures, since it goes unreported." he stopped in a parking spot, continuing while he had Ed alone, "Of the reported cases, most result from abuse of power or coercion. Which is why fraternization between the ranks is illegal."

"You love her, but you can't be with her." Ed acknowledged sadly. Roy didn't deny any of it. But he didn't admit to it either. He could tell by watching the two of them for years. They had something deeper than friendship. Maybe not a romantic love, but not the love Ed had for his brother either. Still, it had to be called love. "At least until you become Fuhrer and get to change the laws, right?"

"No." Roy stated firmly, "The law will stand, no matter who is in charge. It has to. It protects too many of our soldiers to toss aside for selfish reasons."

"I take it you two have thought about this a lot?"

"I can't speak for her, but I have, ever since that day I first found out she followed me into the military. There's no way around it. She won't leave the military as long as there are those she feels the need to protect. And I won't stop until I can change this country, something I can only do from the top."

"So you're both too stubborn for your own good?" Ed teased.

Roy managed a bit of a smile, "Something like that."


	5. Chapter 5

Roy Mustang approached the front desk at the end of the tiled hallway. He needed to find out how his subordinate was doing. But he also knew he would have a hard time getting any information from the hospital staff. He hoped that his plan would work on the young receptionist seated behind the desk filing charts. "Excuse me miss, I was hoping you could help me. My wife just came in via ambulance, could you tell me where I could find Riza Hawkeye?"

Ed bit his tongue, trying not to laugh. They sure argued like a married couple, that much was certain.

The receptionist checked her clipboard, "Oh yes, she's been taken into surgery, but we don't have much health history on her. Would you mind filling this out?"

"Of course," Roy took the forms from her, worriedly wondering if he knew enough about her to give the hospital enough information. _Lieutenant Hawkeye was a very private person and was healthy as a horse. What was there to put down?_

"Are you family as well?" the woman asked, turning to Ed.

"Who, me?" Ed froze, not sure what to say.

"He's our son." Roy supplied, almost instantly.

The receptionist looked from Ed to Roy, seemingly not convinced. Roy was tall, muscular, with eastern features of dark narrower eyes and sleek black hair. Ed was shorter, with golden eyes and hair to match. "Our records show Miss Hawkeye is 27, this boy is about 15?"

"Miss, I'll be honest with you," Roy sighed, placing a hand on Ed's shoulder. "My wife and I...we were unable to conceive a child of our own. We tried for years after we were first married but the doctors say it's just not possible. Edward and his brother were wounded in the eastern conflict, they lost their mother, and their father abandoned them. Ed lost an arm and a leg, and his younger brother is in school right now, he hides in a suit of armor because his classmates tease him for his scars. Middle school kids can be so cruel. They may not look like me, but the boys are our sons, and we're the only parents they can remember having." Roy started to get a little choked up, "I'm sorry. I just know it's hard on the boys."

The receptionist brought her hand to her mouth, "I am so sorry. I had no idea." She looked at Ed's right arm, "You've been through so much for someone so young."

Ed tried not to laugh at the Colonel's beautifully woven pile of crap that the receptionist was somehow believing. "That's alright, you didn't know." Ed said, "We're used to it by now. Everyone assumes my mom fooled around on my dad or something." Truth be told, the Colonel was more of an attentive paternal figure than his birth father had been.

"Please, have a seat over in the waiting area. The nurses will keep you posted on your wife's condition."

"Colonel?" Ed asked quietly, as they walked away from the desk, "Your 'wife'? Really"

"So I stretched the truth a bit," Roy shrugged, playing with a set of dogtags in his hand. "They won't tell us anything unless we're family and she doesn't have much of that left. She agreed to follow me into hell. To protect me just as I protect her. She swore her loyalty willingly. Once you take away the church part, there's not much more to marriage than that is there?"

Ed grinned from ear to ear, "Hughes would be so proud."

* * *

Lieutenant Havoc carefully picked at the lock on the studio apartment, Al standing behind him nervously. "Are you so sure we should be doing this? I'm sure we could get a key from the manager if we explained that something happened to the Lieutenant and we were here to take care of her dog."

On the other side of the door, an intense growling grew louder as the lock clicked open. "Easy, Hayate, it's us. Thankfully the Colonel didn't send Breda, he never would have even made it upstairs." Havoc chuckled, putting out his cigarette on his boot heel. Hawkeye would kill him if he had smoked in her apartment.

The shiba flew forward, throwing himself at Al. He whined as he rubbed against the suit of armor, looking around for his master. "It's okay, boy." Al soothed, "You can smell that something's wrong, can't you?" Al realized that he still probably smelled like blood.

Havoc quickly did a sweep of the apartment. He was sure that Black Hayate could chase off nearly any intruder, but until they had more to go on about the identity of the shooter and his motives, he refused to take any risks. There was no guarantee that the gunman had worked alone. "All clear!" He announced.

Al looked around at the small apartment. It was decorated conservatively. A few bookshelves, a radio, and a twin bed along the back wall facing the door. A large gun safe stood by the door, likely holding more weapons and ammunition than some small armies. He was surprised to find a well stocked kitchen. "I'm surprised she has time to cook, considering the Colonel is usually keeping everyone but himself busy."

"Hehe, yeah," Havoc agreed, "She's a good cook though. She didn't grow up with a whole lot so she kind of had to be. She bribes us with her cooking sometimes. Her roast chicken is to die for. She does this thing where she puts a can of beer up its butt and it looks all kinds of wrong, but the meat is so moist it just falls off the bone." He almost started drooling as he went through the bathroom, grabbing toiletries and throwing them into a duffel bag. _Does she need tampons? If I don't bring them and she needs them, I'll feel like an asshole. But if she doesn't need them and pack them anyway, she might think I'm implying something. Either way I'm screwed._

Al pictured a fresh roast chicken in his mind. _I need to add that to my list of things to try when I get my body back!_

The hopeful little dog followed Al around the kitchen as he opened cupboards, looking for a bag of food. Hayate picked up his food bowl and brought it to Al, dropping it at his feet before pawing at a cupboard. "You're smart, aren't you?" he pulled out a bag of food and poured some into the bowl. "Here you go."

Havoc emerged from the bathroom with a full duffel bag. "Ok, I've got clothes, toiletries, and a few books. I think that would be good at least for now. I'm going to load this up in the car, how about you take Hayate for a walk and lock up?"

Al nodded, grabbing the dog's leash. After he finished walking Hayate, he paused at the entryway. He looked up at Al with a look of concern. He couldn't help it. "You come in here!" Al whispered as he opened the front of his armor, slipping the dog inside.

* * *

AN: I hope this was enjoyable! I thought something lighthearted was in order after all the heaviness. Let me know what you think, more plot, less filler to come next chapter.

Edit: for some reason my horizontal lines disappeared, I tried putting them back for easier reading, thanks to those of you who let me know.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Sorry for the delay in updating, my internet has been out for a while. Hope you enjoy the next enstallment! Than you for your continued support and feedback!

* * *

Alphonse and Havoc arrived at the hospital, finding Roy and Ed sitting in the waiting room. It was well past what would be considered normal visiting hours but the hospital staff had been accommodating due to the circumstances. Ed had started to nod off but Roy stayed awake, staring into the flames of the fireplace in the lobby.

"How is she doing, brother?" Al asked worriedly, gently shaking his sibling to a more awake state.

"Still in surgery," he sighed. "I guess that's a good thing though. If something bad had happened, they would have come out and told us. If they're still working on her, that means she's still alive and fighting." He couldn't pretend he wasn't worried about it. The nurse had told him that gunshot wounds can be tricky, especially in the chest. The more she explained the less Ed had wanted to listen. All the information blurred together after a while.

"She's fine," Havoc tried to reassure them, "She's not hurting right now at least. They'll have her doped up pretty good for a while."

"Yeah. I don't even remember when I had surgery to get my automail hooked up, all I remember is when whey connected it to my nerves," Ed remembered. "By the wait Al, if anyone asks, you and I were orphaned in the Eastern Conflict and the Lieutenant and the Colonel are really married and they adopted us from an orphanage because Mustang shoots blanks."

"Huh?" Al was so confused.

"I never said _why_ we couldn't have children, Ed." Roy grumbled half-heartedly.

"Roy Mustang?" A young nurse dressed in surgical scrubs tapped him on the shoulder, "Your wife is still in surgery, but they got the bullet out. As requested, we brought it out to you right away." The nurse handed him a small glass jar with a lump of twisted metal at the bottom. _Something so small did that kind of damage?_

"Thank you, this will help our investigation," he managed a smile with a lot of effort, "Please let me know when I can see her?"

"Of course, it will be a little while. After they close up her wound she'll go to recovery until she's more stable and then we'll put her in a private room with security as requested until she's ready to go home. Probably another hour at least. Are any of you blood donors? Type O-? We could use some more on hand just in case." No one needed to ask in case of what.

"I don't know mine." Havoc muttered sheepishly.

"It's on your tags, it's on all of ours." Roy informed him, looking at the set he'd been holding onto. "During your admissions physical your blood is typed and stamped on your dogtags in case of an emergency."

 _Riza Hawkeye O-  
06.28.1889  
Amestrian Army  
346981._

"How about that?" Havoc read his, "O-. I'll catch up with you guys later!" He followed the nurse down the hallway, chatting along with her as they went.

"That's a good idea," Ed pondered aloud, "I don't have tags though because I'm too young to get shipped off. And I don't know my blood type."

"You can't donate." Roy told him bluntly.

"You're not my real dad and you can't tell me what to do, this isn't about work! I could have her type, it could save her life!" He was so tired of feeling useless. There had to be something he could do.

The two had started to capture the attention of some passing staff. Roy calmly told him, " _Son,_ you're not old enough to give blood yet. And you're small for your age. Your _mother_ would kill me if I allowed it."

Al sighed, "Here we go again."

"Oh, that's low." Ed seethed, trying not to lose his temper while the staff went back to what they were doing. "Everything is about my size isn't it?"

"Tell me, Ed," Roy sighed. Ed was clearly not getting it. "How much blood is in an average human body?"

"About four to six liters," Ed froze. He knew the math all too well. He had broken down the composition of the human body in detail with his brother before their failed transmutation. He broke it down and built it back together a thousand times in his mind before they tried, accounting for every cell, every organ, every fluid in the body. _Water 35L, carbon 20kg, ammonia 4L, lime, 1.5kg, phosphorous 800g, salt 250g, saltpeter 100g, sulfur 80g, fluorine 7.5g, iron 5g, silicon 3g, and trace amounts of 15 other elements._

Roy paused for a minute, proceeding with caution. He wanted to be tactful but sometimes Ed required him to be blunt to get his point across. "And how much blood do you think used to be in your arm and leg before you lost them? A blood donation is a pint at a time. Your body has less blood circulating now than it once did, so a pint for you is a larger portion of your body's supply than it would be to someone else. I cannot in good conscience allow you do give blood. Especially when it may not be her type. It's a risk that would be foolish to take when we don't know if you're still being targeted."

Ed sat there for a moment in silence. The colonel had a point. He had learned to adapt to living with less blood. When injured, he did notice that he would be wiped out for a few days afterward, sleeping later and eating more. He was just trying to protect him, as usual. "What's your type, Colonel?"

"AB-," Roy answered, "Meaning she can give blood to me but I can't give mine to her. She's a universal donor. In a pinch, her blood could be given to anyone in need." _Kind of fits. I'm useless and she's the one able to save lives. I can't even protect the people I love._

* * *

Fuery and Breda walked into the hospital, Falman trailing behind, struggling to organize the pile of notes and photos from the scene. Colonel Mustang had asked for a report hours earlier but new details kept emerging. However when they arrived, their commanding officer was nowhere to be found. Ed and Al sat in the waiting area next to Lieutenant Havoc, bandage still wrapped around his arm, "That nurse was really cute. I wonder if she'd give me her number?"

"Hey guys, where's the chief?" Breda asked.

"In there," Ed nodded toward a set of double doors. They gave him some space after he disappeared into the sanctuary. Ed had never seen him look so distraught.

"The chapel? I didn't know he was religious." Fuery asked nervously.

"He's not, he's scared. He's scared as hell." Havoc sighed, running his hands through his hair. "She's out of surgery but she's still critical. No visitors. She lost a lot of blood I guess, after they took the slug out, and they lost her once. She came back, but there's no guarantee she'll stay with us."

"Oh my God," Fuery gasped, "I didn't know it was that bad."

After a moment, the soldiers returned to the task on hand. "We checked out the scene, we found a body on the ground floor, looks like he was taken out before the gunman went to the rooftop," Falman handed Ed the report notes, "Since the colonel won't be disturbed right now, you're technically the officer in charge."

Ed forgot sometimes that his status as a State Alchemist made him the equivalent of a major. The second lieutenant, warrant officer and sergeant had to answer to him in the colonel's absence. "I'll pass the word along to Mustang when I can."

"The body has not been positively identified, but it looks like he was killed by a single shot to the chest, likely a high powered rifle, possibly the same one that shot Hawkeye," Falman handed him a photograph of a man lying on a table in the morgue. "Do you recognize him?"

There was no mistaking him. Even in death, his face was too distinctive, bearing the permanent mark of Roy Mustang's wrath. "Yeah. That's John Bergmann. He's a State Alchemist, known as the Windsong Alchemist."

"He just arrived in East City today," Al told them, "He came in on the same train as me and my brother."

"Killing a State Alchemist isn't easy," Breda pointed out, "But we have the suspect in custody. He's a John Doe as of now. He was wounded, missing an ear, by the time we found him. That's Hawkeye for you, even when she misses she'll mess you up. Fuery shot him in the stomach when he refused to drop his weapon. He's in surgery but expected to survive."

"Is, is he here?" Al asked worriedly.

"We had to, too much of a security risk," Falman admitted defeatedly, "We weighed the options and we didn't have enough men to spread thin enough. We don't know if this guy worked alone, and we don't know whether Hawkeye was the target or if he was after you boys. We also don't have information on why Bergmann was targeted. He could have been a witness that needed removed or it could have been a targeted attack."

"Oh God, Roy's gonna be pissed." Havoc shook his head.

"Security has been posted with our John Doe and outside the post-op ward where the Lieutenant is recovering," Fuery had the logistics covered. "Security has been informed that under no circumstance is the colonel to have contact with the suspect."

"Do you have a picture of the suspect?" Ed asked.

Falman pulled one out of the folder, "A bit of a bloody mess. He wasn't talking so don't have much to go on. No ID, no wallet. He was dressed as a civilian but his skill with a rifle suggests former military."

Havoc looked at the photo. Having worked as an arms specialist and sniper, he knew a lot of the military's most prominent marksmen. "Doesn't look familiar to me, but he looks older than me. Maybe he's old enough to have served in the East?"

Ed and Al exchanged looks, "I think we should talk to Colonel Mustang." Al admitted. "He might recognize him.

Ed nodded, knowing his brother was right. He took the picture in hand and walked toward the sanctuary doors, raising his hand to knock.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: This one's a long one, hope you're good with that. I appreciate all of you who have taken the time to read my first FMA fic! This one has a flashback with some potentially triggering material.

* * *

The sanctuary was a small room lined with pews facing an altar at the front. It was dimly lit by votive candles on the other side of the chapel. Ornate stained glass windows framed the room. In the sunlight, Ed imagined they would be quite beautiful, filling the room with warm, colored light. But in the night, they glowed from the moonlight and streetlamps outside, a dim, haunting red. Roy Mustang sat in the front row, leaning forward over folded hands as he watched the candles burning in front of him.

"Hello, Fullmetal." He responded dryly.

"How did you know it was me?" the younger alchemist took a seat beside him, "Footsteps from my leg?"

"No, because you're the only one I could imagine coming in here after me," he answered. "Why did you come?" One of the votive candles burned out, leaving a wisp of smoke trailing up to the high ceiling. Roy stood up and lit another, not using alchemy, but a lighter in his pocket.

"Breda, Fallman and Fuery came, they have news." Ed began, "Bergmann is dead. Likely killed by the shooter." He froze, watching and waiting to catch the colonel's reaction. If he had one, Ed missed it.

"You don't know who the shooter is," Roy filled in. "If you did, you wouldn't be telling me this."

Roy was partially right. Motive would help fill in some gaps in the investigation. But Ed had other reasons for wanting to tell his commanding officer the news, "Yeah. We still don't know if he was a target or just in the way. And we don't know who else he was after. If he was after me, he might have had a grudge against State Alchemists. If he was after Hawkeye, the fact that he shot Bergmann too might mean he's after those who served in Ishval. He's the right age to have gone to war. We hoped that you might recognize him."

Roy reached for the photo clutched in Ed's hand, bearing the bloody, battered image of their John Doe. "He's wounded, I'm guessing he's here?"

"Falman thought it would be best, keeping security concentrated instead of spread across different hospitals."

"Good," Roy handed the picture back to Ed, "The man's name is Eric Winchester, and yes, he served in Ishval. At least until he was dishonorably discharged. He wasn't after you or your brother." Ed was a little concerned by the certainty in the older man's voice. He knew Roy would never put him and his brother at risk willingly.

"You sound pretty confident about that, and not in the cocky, usual way either." Ed teased, getting a hint of a smirk from the colonel.

* * *

" _Major John Bergmann, you have been found guilty of abandonment of post and assault on an officer. hereby reduced in rank to captain and are relieved from active duty. You will be returning to Central in the morning, await new orders at 0800 tomorrow morning." The Fuhrer read aloud the verdict and surprisingly light sentencing to the makeshift courtroom._

 _The observing officers muttered to each other, "This is a dog and pony show, it's ridiculous."_

" _Four people died last night. They may not have if those two were at their posts."_

" _This is war, people die. It doesn't warrant a tribunal."_

" _The charges do."_

" _The charges are meaningless! They charged Hawkeye with abandoning her post! What kind of sick joke is that?"_

" _Regardless of what happened, she was unable to perform her duty. That's why she's charged."_

" _Brigadier General Raven, Colonel Armstrong, that's quite enough," Fuhrer Bradley raised his hand, cutting off their debate. "Please bring her out so we can wrap up this matter. I'm sure we all want to get out of this hot tent as soon as possible."_

 _Major Roy Mustang sat with the other officers watching with bated breath as his childhood friend was led out in chains and thrown down at the Fuhrer's feet. When he saw her that morning, she looked defeated and broken. Now, she looked angry, determined, there was fire in those eyes._

" _Officer Riza Hawkeye, do you understand the charges against you?" The Fuhrer began, avoiding her glaring gaze._

" _Understand, sir? Yes, I suppose I do." she answered, venom in her voice, "During the events of last night I was unable to guard the camp. Four people are dead and I am charged with abandonment of duty."_

" _Good, you understand the situation, even though I take it you do not agree with it? You understand that these charges amount to treason. If convicted, you will be executed." He drew his blade and held it against the woman's throat. The reaction from the observers was swift and angry._

" _Fuhrer Bradley, that sentence is inconceivable," Colonel Armstrong roared, "You convicted Bergmann on those charges and more and he gets a train ride back to Central. Yet you draw your sword at this woman who hasn't even slept since-"_

" _That's enough! One more outburst and we will have you thrown out and found in contempt, Colonel!" Brigadier General Raven threatened._

 _The Colonel seethed in her seat. It was no small wonder so few women entered the military in today's age._

" _Now that we can get back to the matter at hand, how do you plead, officer?" The Fuhrer asked, his cold steel blade pressed against her neck._

 _Riza swallowed, never batting an eye, unwilling to give this man the satisfaction of seeing fear, "Not guilty, sir. You are not going to kill me, not today."_

 _Muttering from the observers increased again. Roy cringed, "Please, don't. Don't make him angry. Don't give him a reason to hurt you." He clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. A hand came to rest on them._

" _Don't worry, my boy." It was General Grumman. "It's only a test." A test? What kind of sick test was this?_

" _You're so sure about that?" The Fuhrer raised an eyebrow, intrigued by her response._

" _You've read the reports. You've seen Doctor Rockbell's report from when she examined me. You have all the evidence you need and my excuses are meaningless. You've already made up your mind as to whether I live or die. If you wanted me dead my head would have been off my shoulders before I ever saw you draw your blade. Sir." She finished, never taking her eyes off the man, ignoring the cold steel pressing harder against her skin now._

 _In a flash, the Fuhrer drew his second blade. The onlookers jumped, shouted and screamed. But not Hawkeye. She never flinched, never blinked. Where his second blade came to a rest on the other side of her neck, a thin trickle of blood flowed down the silver finish. "I'm very sure, sir."_

" _Well done." he smiled, wiping the drop of crimson off as he resheathed his swords. "Those of you who jumped I want you to pay attention. This woman has more courage in a hair on her head than you have in your whole body. You will be saluting this woman some day."_

" _Ha," Colonel Armstrong laughed, "I'd be proud to."_

 _Roy thought he was going to faint. "What the hell was the point of that?" he asked as the Fuhrer left the tent._

" _He wanted to test her will," Grumman told him, "A soldier who has no fight left within them cannot serve, cannot protect anyone. That woman will not admit defeat, not even to the ruler of our nation. She called his bluff. Feisty one, she is." The general walked up to the young woman as the guards released her from her chains. He removed something from his chest and placed it in her hand, "I think that may have just been the bravest thing I've ever seen from a soldier in all my years. It's not every day we get to see a king put in check by someone he thinks is a pawn."_

 _Hawkeye looked down, in her hand was a silver star attached to a blue ribbon, "Sir, this...this is a medal for valor. I cannot accept this. I have not earned it."_

 _Grumman turned to the other officers gathered, "Any objections?"_

 _He was met by a resounding chorus of "No sir!"_

" _Courage doesn't just have a place on the battlefield, my dear." He smiled. "It's nothing official but I want you to have it."_

* * *

 _Roy walked alongside his friend, still in shock over what had happened. Apparently word had spread like wildfire in the dry desert heat and half the regiment had heard the news before they even reached camp. Some offered congratulations, others sympathy, a few didn't know what to say, they just stared and shook their heads. Maes Hughes ran to catch up, "So is it true what they're all saying? That you sassed the Fuhrer and lived?"_

" _I did not 'sass' the Fuhrer. I just took a gamble hoping he was bluffing and I happened to be right." She didn't feel nearly as brave as she'd been told she was. She had survived, something she knew she had to do to continue protecting those she held dear. She kept the medal the general had given her, but she didn't feel right wearing it. She tucked it into her inner pocket of her uniform, out of sight but close to her heart._

 _Hughes handed them a small parcel wrapped in napkins, "Here, you two missed chow while you were in court. I couldn't sneak out much, but it's something."_

 _Riza quickly scarfed it down, almost forgetting to say thank you. She hadn't eaten anything since the evening before her watch began. She felt a pain of guilt for those who did not make it. Even though she did not blame herself for their deaths, she wondered who the four had been._

 _Roy took only a small piece of what Hughes had brought, leaving the rest for her. To his surprise, several other soldiers had the same idea as Hughes. Several soldiers came forward with canteens full of coffee or tea they'd sneaked while it was still hot and fresh, breads, or fruit. Many offered their support or sympathy. Roy noticed that Riza's tough outer shell had started to break down. She started to cry as she ate, the full weight of the day coming crashing down._

" _Never be ashamed of your tears, Second Lieutenant!" a cool voice said from behind._

 _Confused, Riza looked around. There were no officers of such rank around._

" _I'm talking about you," Colonel Armstrong took a seat with them, "It was decided after you left that your rank did not reflect your actions. By the time I see you next, I want to see your uniform up to date." She handed Hakweye the new brass for her uniform._

" _Yes, ma'am." Hawkeye nodded._

 _A commotion had started across the camp. Two soldiers appeared to be trying to calm a third who was coming toward them. He charged forward, sidearm drawn. He aimed it straight at Hawkeye's chest, his hands shaking, "You are the reason four people are dead. Why are you still alive?"_

" _Calm down, Private," Hughes raised his hands and tried to calm the man, "We're all still reeling from last night's losses."_

" _What did you lose?" the man turned his aim toward Hughes, "Last night, my fiancee was killed by insurgents because she didn't do her job. She was a nurse, she wasn't supposed to die for her country!" The man was shaking, tears streaming down his face, twisted in rage._

" _Put the gun down, Private." Colonel Armstrong ordered, "You may want to look around you. If you do not disarm yourself, you will be joining your lover soon." Soldiers from around the camp had their weapons trained on the man._

 _Roy reached for the gun, putting his finger between the hammer and the firing pin, "Eric, I'm sorry about your fiance, I really am. But the last thing we need is our soldiers turning on each other."_

 _The man dropped the weapon, but with his newly freed hand swung a punch at the Major. "How about if I take away the one you love? Then what?"_

" _That's enough!" Colonel Armstrong was done negotiationg, "You are relieved of duty. We have no need for you in this regiment if you cannot handle the reality of war. Your safety is never guaranteed. If you want to be angry with someone, fine. Be angry with Bergmann who abandoned his post so he could rape a woman instead! He prevented her from performing her duty. Be angry with Bradley over this damn war. I don't give a damn who you're angry at but the minute you acted on that rage you proved your worthlessness to this military. Take him out of my sight."_

 _The man was lead away, screaming profanity, "Her name was Lila! And her blood is on your hands!"_

" _Mustang, was it?" Armstrong turned to Roy, who pointed at himself nervously, "Does your mother still need to write your name in your underwear? Yes, you, you worthless alchemist."_

 _The men snickered as Roy nodded his head in acknowledgment. Hawkeye and Hughes gave him a sympathetic smile._

" _The Lieutenant is staying with you tonight, I'm assigning you to her protection until tempers simmer down. We lost four people last night. There's a lot of anger in this camp. There will be no retaliation!" she announced loud enough for the camp to hear, "That includes you, Mustang. I heard about your little spat with Bergmann. While I don't blame you it was highly unprofessional." She had the slightest hint of a smirk on her face._

" _Yes ma'am."_


	8. Chapter 8

Ed swallowed hard, trying to process everything. He knew the last thing Hawkeye would want was pity, but he wouldn't help but feel for her. She was still expected to be the good, strong, loyal soldier the military needed her to be no matter what happened. And she had done just that. "So you think he wanted revenge on Bergmann and Hawkeye for his fiancee?"

"That guess is as good as any," Roy sighed. "I did feel sorry for him. I really did. I was always telling Hughes to shut up about Gracia when we were over there because it's always the ones that don't shut up about what they have at home that never come home. Someone should have told Winchester and his fiancee the same thing."

An MP entered, saluting the Colonel, "Sir! Lieutenant Hawkeye has been transferred to the stepdown wing, security is posted in the hallway, at all entrances and outside her door. Winchester did not survive the surgery."

"Thank you," Roy stood up, standing to leave the sanctuary, "Are you coming, Fullmetal?" He asked expectantly. Ed jumped to his feet, following in his commanding officer's footsteps.

"Al!" Ed got his brother's attention as they entered the waiting area, "Come on!"

Something echoed within Al's armor as he stood up, "Coming, brother!" he turned his attention to his belly, "You have to be quiet, remember!" he whispered.

"Al..." Ed frowned, knowing immediately what Al was hiding. At least this time it wasn't a kitten.

"What's up, boss?" Havoc asked, a toothpick hanging out of his mouth as he tried to satisfy his craving for a smoke while abiding by the hospital's rules. No substituted oral fixation could replenish the nicotine level slowly dropping in his bloodstream but it helped.

"She's out of intensive care, I'm going to check up on her," Roy told his men, who were struggling to stay awake. "All of you get some sleep. You won't be of any help exhausted." Roy looked around at his team, strewn across chairs, barely keeping their heads up. Fuery had curled up into a ball on a couch and was asleep with his glasses still on. Falman had fallen asleep sitting up, his head tossed back as he snored.

"We'll sleep, but we're not going anywhere," Breda told him, his eyes already shut.

* * *

They came to a stop at the end of the hall, two MPs stood by the door. Roy pulled out his identification and gestured for Ed to do the same. Flashing his silver pocketwatch got him a nod and the door opened for them. Inside, Riza Hakeye lay in her bed, bandages wound tightly around her chest. Her loose fitting uniform hid how small she really was. Her hair draped around her shoulders, free from its usual clip. She looked unnaturally pale in the dim light. A bag of blood dripped slowly into her arm. It suddenly started to sink in how close they came to losing her.

Roy reached out gently to touch her hand, "Lieutenant, can you hear me?" her skin felt icy cold, but he felt her react to his touch, "Are you ready to wake up?"

She struggled toward consciousness, brows furrowed from either pain or concentration. Her heavy eyelids stayed stubbornly shut but she managed a hoarse whisper, "Colonel? The boys, are they alright?"

"We're here Lieutenant," Ed found his voice, "Al and I are okay, thanks to you." He felt a pain of guilt strike through his heart.

Roy shook his head, "You just came back from the brink of death, can you worry about yourself for once?" He wasn't surprised to hear the first words that came out of her mouth. He would have been shocked to have heard anything else.

She opened her eyes, looking around the room. She winced as she tried to sit up further, only to find gloved hands guiding her back down. His touch was firm, but more gentle than she had expected. She could feel his concern radiating from his fingertips.

"I'm okay," she insisted, "The pain is bearable."

"That's because you have morphine coursing through your system," he smiled. "It's a hell of a drug."

"Lieutenant please don't push yourself!" Al broke his silence, standing back in the corner of the room, "You've already done too much."

"What do you mean?" she whispered, allowing herself to relax against the pillows.

"You never should have tried to save me!" Al's voice wavered, It was easy to forget sometimes that Alphonse was still just a young boy, "You could have let yourself get to safety but you pulled me down to protect me! I'm just a suit of armor with a soul, bullets wouldn't do a thing but they almost killed you!" He stood shaking in the corner, letting his feet slide out from under him as he sank to the floor, distraught.

Riza watched in shock, trying to process it all. She remembered back to earlier in the afternoon. She remembered telling Al to get down behind the fountain with his brother. While she returned fire to the rooftop, she pulled Al down as he peeked up from behind his hiding place beside Ed. "Al...I..."

"I'm just armor!" he wailed, "I don't have a life, I can't die! I just have a soul."

"Alphonse," she raised her hand, gesturing for him to come closer. Roy moved to clear a space for Al's large frame at her bedside. "You don't have a soul."

"What?! How could you say something like that, my soul is all I have, Lieutenant!" Al's voice cracked, not with anger but sadness, "I do have a soul, brother risked his life to put it in this armor, he gave his arm for me!" Ed reached out to console his brother but was pushed away.

"Al," she continued, "You don't have a soul, you are a soul. That's what makes you who you are. You have a body. You have a suit of armor. Those are not permanent things, they just house your soul, that's the real you. I've never seen you as just a suit of armor. That's why I tried to protect you even though you probably weren't in danger."

The boys stood in shocked silence listening carefully to her words. Roy placed a hand on her shoulder, "Don't push yourself, breathe," he watched the machine, softly beeping each heartbeat. No one had realized how high it had risen, 100, 110, 115...then falling back down slowly, "That's better. Don't stress yourself." He shot a sympathetic but stern look over at the two boys.

"Lieutenant..." Al couldn't find any more words. For the first time since his failed transmutation he felt human, like any other person deserving of protection, of love. He carefully wrapped his steel arms around her. Ed paused for a moment before leaning in as well.

"Al, we should let her rest, she's going to be okay." Ed told his brother, worrying about the emotional toll of the day's events as well as the physical.

Al nodded, "By the way, Lieutenant, I have something of yours," he opened up the front of his armor, and to her surprised he pulled out a sleepy puppy.

"You didn't." Roy chuckled, "Of course you did."

"He was scared, I think he was worried. He knew something was wrong." Al set the pup on the floor, letting him go back to sleep by his master's bedside.

Hawkeye smiled softly, "Thank you for taking care of him. I don't think the nurses will let him stay though."

"Nonsense," Roy insisted, "I'll inform the guards that he is to stay by your side as additional security. You boys come with me, we have arrangements at the hotel across the street. You can come back in the morning, she'll still be here."

The boys nodded, not wanting to leave her side, but knowing it was best. As they said their goodbyes and walked out of the room, Roy lingered back for a moment, "No more heroics for a while," he gripped her hand gently. "A king is pretty useless without a queen."

She looked up at him, not missing the tears threatening to fall, "And we all know water makes you useless. So it can't start raining."

Roy quickly blinked away the tears, "No, it's a terrible day for rain."

* * *

AN: And that's a wrap! Was that too mushy? It might have been mushy. Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I'm hugging you all in my mind right now.


	9. Epilogue

Roy led his Lieutenant up the stairs to his apartment, insisting on having her hold his arm on the way up. She initially refused, saying that it was silly and that people would talk. He countered that people would think ill of him if he didn't help a lady up the stairs. There was nothing fraternizing about it, just helping a wounded soldier up the steps.

"I'll take the couch," Roy volunteered, taking her bag of belongings into the bedroom.

"Sir, I'm not going to kick you out of your own bed." She rolled her eyes. Despite having a reputation as a womanizer, Roy was always a gentleman. Despite the jokes that went around the office, he respected her too much to ever try anything.

He paused for a moment, "Would you be okay with sharing a bed?" He wasn't sure if that would be too much for her to handle, since old wounds had reopened. It had been two weeks since she retold what had happened ten years earlier but he still worried about her state of mind.

"We did that night," she remembered.

* * *

" _You can stay on my cot," Hughes cleared up some space in the tent he shared with Roy Mustang. "I'm on night patrol tonight, I won't be using it anyway. I can't have you sleeping on the floor, it wouldn't be right."_

 _Riza smiled softly, grateful for all the kindness she'd been shown by her fellow soldiers, a refreshing break from the harshness of earlier in the day. "Thank you, you've been so thoughtful." She barely knew Hughes, except as a friend of Roy's but could tell he had a good heart. The woman in the picture on his bedside table must have been very lucky._

 _As they settled in to get ready for sleep, Roy asked her, "How are you doing? And I mean really. None of this stoic, perfect soldier stuff. I'm talking to Riza, not Lieutenant Hawkeye."_

" _Physically? I'm sore, everything aches," she sighed, "Doctor Rockbell gave me something for the pain to take if I needed it. Mentally, emotionally, I really don't know." He knew how to read her, ever since they were children. There was no hiding, and there didn't need to be._

 _Lieutenant Colonel Basque Grand rounded on the camp, maintaining order, "Lights out, everyone! It's 2100, quit burning up all the oil!" He poked his head into Roy's tent and glared at the two officers pointing at the them, "No, no, no. This is not acceptable and you both know it. And shame on you, Major for trying to take advantage of a woman in her condition!" He shouted._

 _Roy raised his hands defensively, "It's not like that. We're under orders from Colonel Armstrong. I'm supposed to keep her under my protection until things settle down." He retrieved a hand written note from the Colonel, offering it to his superior officer, "No fraternization here." He was frankly a little insulted at the Iron Blood Alchemist's assertion that he was going to do something inappropriate, especially since he knew what had happened earlier._

" _I'll be keeping my eye on you, Mustang." Grand said, exiting the tent._

 _Shaking his head, Roy offered his canteen to Hawkeye, "You should take what she gave you. You need your rest."_

" _I'm afraid to," she admitted. "As pathetic as that sounds. I don't want to feel weak, I can't let my reflexes be delayed. I have to be ready at a moment's notice." It was her duty as a soldier. She couldn't risk being incapacitated if someone needed her, or if she needed to defend herself._

" _Tonight you don't have to worry about that," he soothed, "I'm here to watch over you. And I won't let anyone on this earth hurt you as long as I'm still breathing." He sat down on the cot beside her, letting her lean against him. She finally agreed to take two of the pills to help her sleep. She soon felt the tension start to leave her body and she wondered if it was from the medicine or from his presence._

 _They soon lost track of how long they sat, leaning against one another. At some point they stopped sitting up and had laid down side by side. Roy's arm found its way to her waist, drawing her close. He prayed that tonight she would have a dreamless sleep. Her breathing slowed evened out. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing she was finally asleep._

* * *

Roy kicked off his shoes and sat on the bed next to her, helping her into her nightclothes. Although her wound was healing well, it was still painful for her to reach her arms above her head to pull off her shirt. She wasn't shy around him. He had seen her bare back for countless hours studying its secrets, and for hours more tending to her burns after he destroyed them.

"Just like old times?" she asked, the slightest bit of red on her cheeks.

He smiled, laying down beside her, "Just like old times," he agreed.

* * *

AN: I decided to include this here instead of a separate epilogue. I hope you enjoyed it!


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